I'm Back!

Update coming soon

The Long Road Home...

It's not until I try to interact with someone new that I realize how different I have become. Or was I always that way? Good grief, why do I second guess myself? I find myself sounding negative, when inside my heart I feel positive about who I am finally have a chance to become. Why do I have to explain myself? Why would someone care? This is who I am!

Remember for many years I lived in a pretty controlling relationship, that was slowly sucking the very life outta me. To save myself from that end, I dumped my soul into something I could save and that was dogs. And now? It's about being on that long road home to who I really am. I turned 55 this weekend. I can finally have time to reflect on where my life has gone and how quickly it's gone past me. I want to shout to all the young kids out there, slow down, savour the moment, remember this sky! Remember to laugh, don't be afraid to cry, and be kind! The times have changed, the world has changed; I consider myself lucky to lived right here and now! The music I've experienced; the technology... Wow! But it has all zipped past me so fast. I sold myself to dogs for alot of years. It took away my free time, it took away time with my family, my friends, I let it intefere with my job, my marriage; everything. I was in control. I saved dogs with my hands tied behind my back; blind folded... I saved dogs. I didn't really care who got in my way. It consumes you. You meet all kindza other crazy rescue people and you cross over to the dark side, of waking, drinking, eating, sleeping, saving dogs. My trust and faith in humanity is seriously damaged, on so many levels. Sometimes I wonder if I can get back to where I was before? I have to remind myself every day to live in the moment and keep putting one foot in front of the other, cuz this will be a long road to find home. I haven't got anything else going on... *smile*

The People We Meet Along Our Path In Life...

It all started with a dog (doesn't it always?). She was a troubled sort, and her adopter wasn't sure what to do with her. We met on a forum site. That was oh, about 6-7 years ago? The dog, of course, adjusted somewhat...the rest is just who she is. Her adopter and I became friends. The dog's face was on several WGSPR calendars over the years and if you happen to have a stack of our blank note cards, she is there too. That dog... this dog...

Is the one, the ONLY, BEAN! One day, out of the blue came a package from Bean's mom, Renee', that simply made my day! She wrote:

It made me cry. Inside the box was a coffee mug, some garden gloves, and tools and a windchime. How sweet, don'tcha think? I sure did, and once I got done sobbing like a baby, I smiled that someone would care about me like this.

Renee' and I never got the chance to meet in person, and her whole life changed in the time I knew her. But I never really knew that, because we typically talked dogs and gardening. And on July 28, 2012, I received word that Renee' was killed on her motorcycle. The news took my breath away! WHAT? WHY? HOW? OMG? What about BEAN? I made it a mission to find the dog. And I did. Safe and sound with Renee's love, which is where she will stay, thankfully.

I think that crazy dog that made us friends, and will continue to keep Renee' in my heart; is doing ok. She found herself a GREAT life with a GREAT guy and I made myself a new friend in the process, one that was pre-approved by Renee' herself. I will never get over how she left us that sunny, summer day, doing what she loved, and with who she loved. That dog forever binds us. Rest in peace Renee' Willeford. We loved you well.

Searching For Love

In all the wrong places... sounds like a record, doesn't it? Isn't it? The story of my life, a broken record. Broken... Sometimes I wonder, I was born into love, I felt great love growing up in my family. I was loved and felt loved, and gave love, and got shit back. Seriously. I tried a grown up kinda love in 1976 when I got married for the first time. That only lasted 18 months before I discovered he was living with someone else. So you pick yourself up and dust youself off, and keep walking. Life is so much more then that.

I gave the dress to my future sister-in-law, and thankfully it brought her luck. So I concentrated on my career, I enjoyed life, I moved around, I fell in love again and again... and ended up spending the best part of my youth with someone I believed would love me as much as I poured into the whole thing, but sadly, he did not. It was a fun life. It was continually up and down, a real roller coaster; perhaps that's how one learns?

It was during this time, I discovered the only thing I could truely love, and definately cared about, and perhaps I could make a difference about; something I could control, and that was DOGS. So in essence, my search for love drove me directly to the dogs!

And so I gave up my search for human love and companionship for dogs. It's probably one of the most fullfilling things I have ever done in my life. It's also probably the most painful thing to carry the weight of the lives of many dogs around on my shoulders, day in and day out for years. But dogs will rarely betray you, and their gratefulness for a new life is evident in their every step forward. It consumes you.

There are some you hold briefly, and others you hold longer. But in the end, they must all leave. At some point I decided I was my own best mate and I could survive on my own with dogs. And I'm liking it that way. So I wonder how did I end up here? It wasn't that I didn't have plenty of love surrounding me, but I never had a good solid opportunity to receive love back, like that of a dog. Is it that I just searched for love in all the wrong places? What on earth led me to dogs? And what kept me there for so long? Perhaps the next 1/2 of my life will bring me time to figure all that out. For now, I'm enjoying the moment.

Dogs and Their Women, Vol I

We are in a book! It was a true labor of love for Peggy Morsch, I'm sure.

Greetings...

I love hearing from friends and family and adopters at Christmas time! Everyone goes out of their way to find me Shorthair greeting cards! And it's fun to get to go out and visit the dogs we saved, who are nearest and dearest to my heart.

Of course, there would never be enough time during the holidays alone to see all that attached a line to my heart... We DID take in a couple of foster dogs during the holidays...I mean EVERY dog should have a place to call home for the holidays, don't you think?

Now, we look forward to a new year and we wonder what it will bring us. As most of you know, I'm a believer in the fact that we make our own way in this world! And even tho I'm not running a dog rescue any more, it doesn't mean my heart is not in it anymore. I just cannot do it ALL anymore! So, to all my friends, family, dogs, and dog people, rather you sent me a greeting card or not; thank you! Thank you for being my support line all these years, and for understanding that I had dogs to save... perhaps now, I will have a little more time for other things in life? One can dream...

Stepping Away...

As you may or maynot know, I have been involved in German Shorthaired Pointer rescue since the minute we adopted Maggie (who was actually an English Pointer), back in 1999. I became obsessed with saving pointers. I stuck my nose all over in Wisconsin, even helped dogs from other states as resources allowed. It consumes you. You think about dogs from the second you wake up in the morning, until you can finally close your eyes to sleep at night, IF you have time to sleep. Serious! The compassion fatigue is killer. It doesn't hit you like a ton of bricks, but it will catch up with you. It makes you tired, it makes you depressed, it makes you old. What saves your life, time after time is the next save! The next dog you saved from that lethal needle or other end. You make people happy, because you can give them what they want! You begin to wonder how to make this "business" more self sufficiant, you get smart about networking to find volunteers, to find resourses you need. It is ALL consuming. You find you have very little time for your own dogs. And you had pick of the litter, cream of the crop, and now you don't have time for them? There becomes something so wrong with that picture. And when you can't shake off the depression and you can't even talk nicely to people anymore, when dogs are all you think about, and you become a hermit ONLY thinking of saving dogs, and you don't care much about people anymore, the other shoe finally drops and you have to give in to it, and BECOME it, or you have to step aside, walk away while you still have a chance at a normal existance again.

I chose to do the latter. It's time to pass the empire over to new blood. And I have found just the right human being to do that. So now, I begin the process of stepping back. No one will ever do it like I did. But I did the best I could, and now I have to save myself. It will be OK. I have to stop obsessing. Someone else can do that now. I leave the pointers of Wisconsin in good hands, and now I can sleep at night again.

Thank you for your support and kindness. I hope you understand. I did my time.