Dixie momma was a retired breeding brood, we tried so hard to save, but alas, the damage was already done, as she was very unsocial and fear aggressive. Whenever I have to make these decisions, it's not taken lightly. And, I continue to second guess myself always. But the bottom line is it would not be responsible of me to lie and put an aggressive dog back out on the streets for someone to perhaps be hurt. Momma and I had a nice long walk and some treats before hand. I stayed with momma until it was over. She never knew what hit her, thankfully. But I sure did. I carry that with me for a long, long time, and it's extremely painful, because I do not like to think I'm a god. When I got home, with her empty collar and leash in my hand, I couldn't deal with it at first. And finally, I removed her tags, but I will never put her collar on another dog. It was momma's collar, and for now, it's sitting on my mantel, until I can deal with myself and let her go. It won't be today; not yet. I put her tags on the pile of other dog tags I have collected over the years. I have no idea why... perhaps so I never forget them? They all meant something to me, in one form or another, not all of them are gone, thankfully.
I hope Pam was there to catch this Dixie, as I was able to help her Dixie? I think it's a fair trade, perhaps another plan that came together in some extreme way? I'll never understand the rhyme or reason...it IS what it is... and life goes on, because I'm sure there is another one who needs me.
