The Long Road Home...

It's not until I try to interact with someone new that I realize how different I have become. Or was I always that way? Good grief, why do I second guess myself? I find myself sounding negative, when inside my heart I feel positive about who I am finally have a chance to become. Why do I have to explain myself? Why would someone care? This is who I am!

Remember for many years I lived in a pretty controlling relationship, that was slowly sucking the very life outta me. To save myself from that end, I dumped my soul into something I could save and that was dogs. And now? It's about being on that long road home to who I really am. I turned 55 this weekend. I can finally have time to reflect on where my life has gone and how quickly it's gone past me. I want to shout to all the young kids out there, slow down, savour the moment, remember this sky! Remember to laugh, don't be afraid to cry, and be kind! The times have changed, the world has changed; I consider myself lucky to lived right here and now! The music I've experienced; the technology... Wow! But it has all zipped past me so fast. I sold myself to dogs for alot of years. It took away my free time, it took away time with my family, my friends, I let it intefere with my job, my marriage; everything. I was in control. I saved dogs with my hands tied behind my back; blind folded... I saved dogs. I didn't really care who got in my way. It consumes you. You meet all kindza other crazy rescue people and you cross over to the dark side, of waking, drinking, eating, sleeping, saving dogs. My trust and faith in humanity is seriously damaged, on so many levels. Sometimes I wonder if I can get back to where I was before? I have to remind myself every day to live in the moment and keep putting one foot in front of the other, cuz this will be a long road to find home. I haven't got anything else going on... *smile*

The People We Meet Along Our Path In Life...

It all started with a dog (doesn't it always?). She was a troubled sort, and her adopter wasn't sure what to do with her. We met on a forum site. That was oh, about 6-7 years ago? The dog, of course, adjusted somewhat...the rest is just who she is. Her adopter and I became friends. The dog's face was on several WGSPR calendars over the years and if you happen to have a stack of our blank note cards, she is there too. That dog... this dog...

Is the one, the ONLY, BEAN! One day, out of the blue came a package from Bean's mom, Renee', that simply made my day! She wrote:

It made me cry. Inside the box was a coffee mug, some garden gloves, and tools and a windchime. How sweet, don'tcha think? I sure did, and once I got done sobbing like a baby, I smiled that someone would care about me like this.

Renee' and I never got the chance to meet in person, and her whole life changed in the time I knew her. But I never really knew that, because we typically talked dogs and gardening. And on July 28, 2012, I received word that Renee' was killed on her motorcycle. The news took my breath away! WHAT? WHY? HOW? OMG? What about BEAN? I made it a mission to find the dog. And I did. Safe and sound with Renee's love, which is where she will stay, thankfully.

I think that crazy dog that made us friends, and will continue to keep Renee' in my heart; is doing ok. She found herself a GREAT life with a GREAT guy and I made myself a new friend in the process, one that was pre-approved by Renee' herself. I will never get over how she left us that sunny, summer day, doing what she loved, and with who she loved. That dog forever binds us. Rest in peace Renee' Willeford. We loved you well.