As you may or maynot know, I have been involved in German Shorthaired Pointer rescue since the minute we adopted Maggie (who was actually an English Pointer), back in 1999. I became obsessed with saving pointers. I stuck my nose all over in Wisconsin, even helped dogs from other states as resources allowed. It consumes you. You think about dogs from the second you wake up in the morning, until you can finally close your eyes to sleep at night, IF you have time to sleep. Serious! The compassion fatigue is killer. It doesn't hit you like a ton of bricks, but it will catch up with you. It makes you tired, it makes you depressed, it makes you old. What saves your life, time after time is the next save! The next dog you saved from that lethal needle or other end. You make people happy, because you can give them what they want! You begin to wonder how to make this "business" more self sufficiant, you get smart about networking to find volunteers, to find resourses you need. It is ALL consuming. You find you have very little time for your own dogs. And you had pick of the litter, cream of the crop, and now you don't have time for them? There becomes something so wrong with that picture. And when you can't shake off the depression and you can't even talk nicely to people anymore, when dogs are all you think about, and you become a hermit ONLY thinking of saving dogs, and you don't care much about people anymore, the other shoe finally drops and you have to give in to it, and BECOME it, or you have to step aside, walk away while you still have a chance at a normal existance again.
I chose to do the latter. It's time to pass the empire over to new blood. And I have found just the right human being to do that. So now, I begin the process of stepping back. No one will ever do it like I did. But I did the best I could, and now I have to save myself. It will be OK. I have to stop obsessing. Someone else can do that now. I leave the pointers of Wisconsin in good hands, and now I can sleep at night again.
Thank you for your support and kindness. I hope you understand. I did my time.
